I grew up in the Catholic church, but never really felt God's pull on my heart. I started dating Wes in high school and consequently began going with him to church. I felt God moving in me every time we were at service, so I kept going.
After high school, Wes and I attended different colleges. I found a church to attend while I was away, and really enjoyed it. My sophomore year of college I felt God calling me to make a decision. In September of 2002 I made the choice to follow Jesus. October 2002, I was baptized.
"If you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, YOU WILL BE SAVED." Romans 10:9
After college we decided to get married. We planned the whole thing and were married within 3 months, which is a testament to how much God wanted this partnership.
Throughout our marriage I have felt God's presence in things we have done, but one day, God spoke to me. I was driving to work one morning in the fall of 2007, and I was almost there. Music was playing and I was thinking about the day ahead of me. Then I was overcome with the idea that one day we would have a son. There was no doubt that this was a promise from God. He did not say the words out loud. He laid them on my heart. We had just gotten married, so we weren't exactly thinking about children yet. I wasn't sure why he promised us a child then, but as time went on, I think I knew why.
We wanted a family in 2009. We had been married for a few years and the yearning was there. We were excited, we were scared, we were in for a long haul and didn't know it yet...
I think it was about 6 months after that I started to feel discouraged. Many people have been through it and understand the frustration. You want something so badly, but it is always out of your reach. Month after month ended in disappointment. I finally went to my doctor to make sure nothing was 'wrong.' A year after we started trying I went through the rigors of testing. Everything was normal. Again, God's promise rang in my heart. More months passed, more babies were born to other loving parents, and many more tears were shed.
Are we not deserving? Have we done something wrong? How can others be blessed with children who don't even want them when we are desperate for children?
Even though we had God's promise, we let these doubts creep in.
2 years after we began this journey, we were relocated. This was when we decided to seek out help.
We found a reproductive endocrinologist and went through more testing. The verdict: unexplained infertility. There was nothing wrong. Part of me was relieved, but part of me was frustrated. If there was something not right, at least there was a chance they could fix it and we could move on. We were just stuck with "We're not sure." The good news was, we had a game plan.
3 months, a lot of blood test, and a round of injections later, it finally happened!
We were expecting a sweet baby!! We cried, we prayed, we praised God. God's promise rang true, and I knew this was our son. We had to wait 3 1/2 months for this to be confirmed, but then all the years of anguish were silenced as God's promise was fulfilled.
Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm,
for God can be trusted to keep his promise. - Hebrews 10:23
God promised me a son 5 1/2 years before he was born because he knew it was going to be a long road. He let us hold onto this promise throughout our struggle. We have no doubt that God is good and wants good things for us.
God's promise was born June 29, 2012, 3 years TO THE DAY after we started trying to have a family. Coincidence? Christ followers don't believe in coincidences. They believe in God.
Then, the unexpected: we were pregnant again! I never had any thought that it would be "easy" for us to conceive, yet here we were, expecting, out of the blue, and with an 8 month old! After years of praying for children, here they were! What a blessing! Little Melanie was born just 16 months after Reed. She wasn't our plan, but was always God's plan.
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. - Proverbs 19:6
That's the testament to waiting on the Lord.
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. - Psalm 27:14
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