As I say 'no' for what feels like the 100th time in 5 minutes, the whining and tears start (for what also feels like the 100th time). I'm about to boil over and yell at him as he clings to my leg blubbering something about Bubble Guppies. And then I hear the baby cry because the screaming woke her up from a nap.
Okay, deep breath.
Get the baby up and focus on her for a minute while the toddler cries outside her room.
Yeah, this isn't going to work.
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Motherhood is hard. Well, anything you care about deeply tends to be at one point or another. But it seems to be much more difficult recently.
The "terrible two's" are upon us. And (full disclosure) I'm kind of losing it. I get frustrated constantly and try not to yell, but I happens all the time. Especially when a whining child is pulling on me over and over and over and over...
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| Who knew lunch would be so hard? |
I need a break from him daily, which makes me feel awful! Why should I want to be away from my baby? I feel like a horrible mother! I chose to stay home with my kids and can't make it through a day without wishing for time away from them? What's wrong with me?!
It can turn into a downward spiral of Mommy guilt if I let it. My husband is great at speaking truth to me. He constantly lets me know I am a good mother and I'm not doing anything wrong. He encourages me to take a break anyway I want to. I like taking baths, reading a book, watching TV, running an errand solo, or doing my devotional. These small moments help tremendously, and I know the kids are getting good time with their Daddy that they really miss during the day.
These breaks a great for the evening to wind down, but I needed a battle plan during the day. I didn't want to yell at the kids every day. I didn't want to 'just survive' every day but end up frustrated and drained.
That's why I've started praying circles around my kids. I love Mark Batterson's book The Circle Maker and Praying the Scriptures for your Children by Jodie Berndt. Morning, noon, and night I am praying for them (and myself). Wes is standing outside their rooms praying for them before he goes to work. Reed and I do prayer time every night before bed. I've handed out scripture for our families and friends to pray for them. Any way I can get scripture and prayer into our day, I do. Worship music in the afternoon? Yep. Using scripture during discipline? Absolutely. Thanking God for a parking spot at the store? Always.
As much as I'm praying for the kids, my heart needs it, too. I need God's love to give my kids, because I don't have enough. I need God's patience as we deal with arguing, whining, and complaining, because there is NO WAY I have that. God give me wisdom to know how to approach these tantrums. It helps, but I still lose my cool.
It's easy to put on a brave face and make it seem like everything is going fine when you really want to cry and scream. You're not alone! This Momma struggles with it every day. Some days aren't pretty, and quite a few are downright ugly! But you're doing a great job. You are the best Momma for your kids. God made sure of that.
I love this verse and the hope that it gives me:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”
Lamentations 3:22-24
I'm off to love on a whiny two year old! Pray for me!
Enjoy!
The Turners
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